There once was a man from nantucket. He lived in a nudist colony. There were many naked people there. Once, he saw an attractive woman walk by. His wife looked at him and was disgusted. She took a pair of scissors and cut off his.......hair. So there he was, a bald, middle aged, naked man. But at least he still had his........penis. He thought to himself, "man i should go find that woman from earlier Id like to........meet her." but unfortunately she had already left the nudist colony. so he left too to go find her. He was searching through the streets when a rabid beaver came up and tore his penis off. This never would have happened if he would have put some clothes on after he left the nudist colony. Just at that moment he saw the woman, but he looked down at himself and realized that there was no point. He went to see a doctor about his......predicament.The doctor told him there was nothing he can do besides give him an artificial........hand, which he was born without. He said no thanks because without a penis a hand wouldnt do much good. When the doctor asked why the man told him because you wouldnt be able to........shake peoples hands anymore. The doctor then asked what shaking peoples hands had to do with his penis. The man gave the doctor a stare and then said "come here ill show you" The doctor shot him. The End.

 

 

 

 

There once was an old man with one hip that worked at jewel. they wanted to fire him cause he was a slacker, but they couldnt because he was handicapped. He used this handicapas an excuse to trip people with his cane.One day, while just putzing around, he discovered a rabbit hole, and he went in and started falling. He fell all the way to china, which was not good because he was a racist white guy. And so he began tripping chinese people with his cane. Until he met his arch nemesis, an old chinese guy with one hip. And so they did battle, the two old men with only one hip. When the intense battle came to an end after 13 seconds, the old chinese man fell and his body vanished. and a small red chipmunk appearedand told him his destiny.He said to him in a very deep voice "you must seek the holy garbage can lid of djibouti!" and so, he set off on his quest with nothing but the clothes on his back and a can of anchovies. through fields of dead baby squirrels he trudged, and ultimately came face to face with the terrible, horrible, and no good badgar. Instead of fighting (for the old man was still tired from the fight with the other old man) so they went and had cocktails. The old man with one hip never did find the holy garbage can lid of djibouti but he did make a life long friend. The End